Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I Love Hats, But This Is Too Ridiculous.

Once upon a time, someone saw Weird Science and it changed her life.

"Eureka!" This anonymous female trilled, bursting with inspiration. "All this time, we women have only worn our flopper stoppers on our chests, blind to their versatility and potential! What fools we have been!"

She worked long into the night. Finally, red-eyed and weary, our heroine emerged from her sewing room bearing the gloriously tacky coup-de-grace of Weird Old Lady Crafts.

Behold: The Bra Hat.

Magnifique, n'est-ce pas?
For the most part, the glory of This Tackiest of Tackies seems to be reserved by the Mysterious Red Hat Society, an international group of retired soldiers of fortune united by their shared love of carnage and the poetry of Jenny Joseph. My sources tell me that these extraordinary accessories are a mark of status among the Red Hats- but to say more would be dangerous. The images speak for themselves:

The following picture shows one of the elusive Grandmasters of Red Hatdom resplendent in Bra hat and Ceremonial Cape:

With the dawn of the internet tubes, the previously clandestine Bra Hat began to appear outside the shady context of the RHS. In fact, several variations on the traditional style have popped up in recent years:

A saucy middle-aged man models this demure little a-cup proving that you don't have to be a lady to look like a fruitcake.

This free and easy style is favored by the youthful Attention Whore about town.

Even Young lovers have fallen for the comfort and intimacy of this marvelous chapeau.

Equipped with a glue gun and a fistful of pipe cleaners,You too, can flaunt your tit-sling showgirl-style! Do you dare? DO YOU DARE?

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Impromptu Barbeque

By a whim of fate, the Sullivan children have assembled for grilled beef patties, House of The Dead: Overkill, and beer/Guinnesss. As of yet nothing has been broken save a lot of zomb- er, mutant skulls.

I was going to use this post to extoll the glory of the summer barbeque, but as a Canadian who has watched more than my share of beer commercials, the topic feels a little redundant. The sky is sometimes blue, the ocean is vast, coffee is awesome and barbeques in summer make nine months of snow, rain and slush worth enduring. You know this. Everyone knows.

I come from a family tradition of barbeque worshippers. This is not an exaggeration. The grill is serious business and heaven help the unworthy should they touch the sacred alter of seared flesh. I'm talking some temple of doom shit.

Anyway, This bloggery is distracting me from the task at hand. Long live the grill and such.